Somtimes it’s ok, other times it’s not ok at all!! Now that doesn’t sound fair at all but I’ve got a story behind it. I was given up for adoption at birth and I take almost nothing lightly. I am constantly getting my feelings hurt over any and everything. I like to think I know-it-all but clearly I don’t. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can’t come to terms with it. I was born mourning.
You may think to yourself what would a newborn know about mourning?. Well, I know I came into this world fighting for life and when I won I had no mommy and daddy to rock me or admire me. I spent the next year in foster care where I’m hoping I got some type of attention but my awkward, anxious personality tells me I probably didn’t get the right attention. I’m traumatized on so many levels to speak of adoption as a great thing can be ok and other times it’s not ok at all. I am emotionally detached and I’ve done everything I can to try to be normal. Truth is tears fall from my eyes when I think of a newborn/toddler with no one to love them correctly and teach them they’re no mistake or burden. I always feel like a burden to everyone and I constantly apologize when I have done nothing but I need to. Like I have to do it.
I just hope our youth think before having children. I hope that people don’t think adoption is a legitimate answer. Bottom line: Adoption is trauma.
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