• Grieving My Mother

@ Out of nowhere a knot settles in my throat , a tear escapes my eye and I swallow another dose of reality…..I’ve lost my best friend.

All mothers and daughters share a special bond. My mother adopted me at 6 weeks old and blood or not she is my mother. We haven’t always seen eye to eye or had the healthiest relationship. If I could go back I would change so much and talk with her about what she could change also. Nonetheless she passed away in early April and my heart is forever broken.

Not only am I grieving the loss of my mother but I feel as if it was due to the hands of whoever put in her feeding tube. She was so tiny by this time. She couldn’t eat for some reason that I still don’t know so her doctor had her go into the hospital for the placement of a feeding tube. Within 4 days my mother went from going to a rehabilitation center for 120 days upon release to in less than 12 hours hospice. She never got to see anyone from hospice. She passed away within 12 hours of the news of hospice.

So sudden. So unfair. My mother drown to death on “fluid” inside and outside of her lungs. How?? She hadn’t been near water and wasn’t taking anything by mouth just the feeding tube feed. Something went terribly wrong somewhere. I feel as if I let her down because I didn’t put it together at the time. The last thing my mother said to me was “ Kristy hurry and get here I can’t breathe”.

When I arrived at the hospital she was non responsive looking up and shrugging her shoulders. I told the nurses with tears streaming down my…